Telephone Spoof
The Tasmanian team of Ian Waller, Adrian ‘Crim’ Coomber and Greg ‘Plumber’ Smith recorded a clean sweep of the Third TasBang International Telephonic Spoof (T.I.T.S.III) on September 4th against a strong team from the Bangkok Gentlemen Spoofers (BGS) to claim the title for the third time in succession possibly stamping themselves as the greatest International Spoofing team in modern history.
At 1700 hours Eastern Standard Time (1400 hours in Bangkok) Waller placed the call to Chairman Swampy from the BGS and teams were drawn. The BGS included debutante telephonic spoofer Mutton to a line-up featuring experienced phone Spoofers Orange (T.I.T.S.I) and The Dark Horse (T.I.T.S II) whilst Tasmania kept faith in the same team who had claimed both previous telephonic titles.
A tight opening round saw seven spoofs, including three inconclusive rounds, to leave Bangkok and Tassie equal on two men out each with newcomer Mutton was left to face Crim in the head to head to decide the first round. A dead round saw Mutton opening with three countered by Crim with ‘The Loose Glute’ (a Tasmanian call for holding one, calling one) only to have the total declared as two. Crim then opened with ‘The Absent Friends – Endacott Two whilst holding two leaving Mutton, who was holding none little choice, to counter with an obviously unsuccessful ‘Dirty Digit’
After a short break to recharge glasses, and empty bladders, Bangkok returned the phone call to start Round Two. Tasmanian moderator Clarkie unfortunately had to retire due to previous commitments but Clem ‘The Legend’ Smith had fortuitously arrived, albeit too late to participate in the pre-telephone rounds.
Orange opened for the BGS with a strong call of ten but Plumber was out for Tassie with a successful call of seven. Crim then opened with the winning call of ten leaving Bangkok stunned and Tassie with two men out in quick succession.
A no result round then resulted in The Dark Horse having the opening call and he took it as one would expect of an experienced spoofer with the winning call of nine (holding three) in the four man school to keep the BGS alive.
Waller then opened for Tassie with a brave Haughton Six at this crucial point, Orange called seven holding two before the newcomer Mutton leapt in holding none with a magnificent call of ‘Five” to again save a match point and leave the round tied up at two men out each.
Orange had obviously decided that, as Waller had been holding three coins for the last four spoofs, it was time for a change and he bravely opened with a call of the Two that he was holding. In the beguiling nature of top class International Spoofing, Waller had also decided that it was time for a change but had held two coins. Taking a punt that he had indeed read Orange’s mind through the ozone, Waller then countered with a call of four to finish the round and complete the clean sweep of T.I.T.S. Trophies for the Little Islanders.
The highest accolades must go to ‘Plumber’ who set an amazing new record being out in the first round of both spoofs . Plumber also achieved this feat once in each of the other T.I.T.S. contests taking his tally to out first round in four from seven spoofs. An enviable record which is certain to take some beating.
Crim and Plumber ended the series tied on a total of personal outs at seven apiece and Waller totalling six. For the BGS, who had six individual players alternating for the three spoofs, Orange, Dark Horse and Chairman Swampy finished the series at two personal outs each, Bakers one with Jammy and Mutton yet to record a personal out at the highest level in International Telephonic Spoofing.
On behalf of the Tasmanian Spoofing School, and the three winning team members, we congratulate the BGS for a splendid and professional effort which although unsuccessful has earned them the respect and admiration of all for their integrity, sportsmanship and camaraderie.
Well done to Waller, Crim and Plumber (pictured below with the Inaugural T.I.T.S. trophy) who now have a well earned and undisputed place in the glorious history of Spoofing.
